Good Managers Say They're Sorry: Leading with Empathy, Transparency, and Authenticity

Empathy, transparency, and authenticity aren’t just how I manage. They’re how I want to show up for all of the people in my life.

Dani Mann
Director, Product Management

When I think about my management style, it really comes down to a few core principles: empathy, transparency, and authenticity. These are the foundation of how I try to show up as a manager every day.

Empathy First

Empathy, to me, means always remembering that there’s more going on beneath the surface than what we see in a meeting or a Slack message. When someone’s struggling, my first instinct is to get curious, not judgmental. What else could be contributing to this? Is there something happening in their personal life, or is the structure not setting them up for success?

I try to lead with questions instead of assumptions, especially around people’s intentions. That helps create space for real conversations and growth. And while I always try to understand someone’s perspective, I don’t believe empathy means lowering standards. It means supporting people in meeting them where they are at and giving them the tools to improve.

Transparency Builds Trust

I try to be open and honest about how I’m feeling, especially when something isn’t working. If I’m frustrated by something, I’ll say it. Not in a way that offloads stress onto my team, but in a way that acknowledges they might be frustrated too, and that it’s okay to talk about it. This openness builds trust. People know that when I share feedback or direction, it’s not performative.

I also try to make it clear that I’m not above the work - I would never ask someone to do something I wouldn’t do myself. Whether it’s jumping in to help test or taking a random task off their plate when they’re overloaded, I think everyone is more motivated to work hard when they know their teammates, including their manager, have their back.

Authentic Communication

I care a lot about giving direct, timely feedback, even on small things. This has easily been one of the hardest parts of becoming a manager and growing as a leader. Early on, I learned how easy it is to let little things slide. But then they build up and suddenly it’s a big issue that no one ever talked about. So I make a point to name things as they come up and be clear about what’s important and what’s just a light note for next time.

I also believe authenticity means being able to admit when I’m wrong. I’ve had moments where I gave the wrong feedback or said something too strongly, and when that happens, I own it. I’ll go back and say, “That wasn’t the way I wanted to handle that, and I’m sorry.” There is often a lot of pressure to feel like you should always be right as a manager and that you might lose trust or respect from your team if you acknowledge your weaknesses and failures. However, I’ve often found the opposite - saying you're sorry signals to your team that you're open to their feedback and perspectives which are often invaluable to improving how we work. It also generally goes a long way in creating a team culture where everyone feels safe to be honest and human.

Final Thoughts

Empathy, transparency, and authenticity aren’t just how I manage. They’re how I want to show up for all of the people in my life. And I’ve found that when you create space for trust, vulnerability, and clarity, everything else—from feedback to performance to team morale—gets a whole lot easier.

Dani Mann

Director, Product Management

As a mechanical engineering by education with a passion for human-centered design, Dani enjoys applying her technical background to help solve multifaceted problems. She also enjoys a variety of creative hobbies including watercolor painting, cooking, and writing (to the delight of her playwright mother). Her favorite genre of books is autobiographies and her backhand in tennis is pretty killer.

View Profile

Explore More Stories